Q: Do you take topic suggestions for your next post?

A: No.


Q: Do you really expect me to read 3000 words about cereal?

A: Yes.


Q: Why do you hate everything?

A: Because everything sucks.


Q: Are you ever not on Twitter?

A: No.


Q: Why do you write about everything as if your opinion was fact?

A: Because it is.


Q: Do you ever proofread?

A: No.


Q: What’s with all the graphs?

A: Graphs are fun.


Q: Can I steal your dog?

A: No.


Q: Will the Leafs ever win the Cup?

A: No.


Q: Are any of these questions even frequently asked?

A: No.







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