Q: Do you take topic suggestions for your next post?
Q: Do you really expect me to read 3000 words about cereal?
Q: Why do you hate everything?
A: Because everything sucks.
Q: Are you ever not on Twitter?
Q: Why do you write about everything as if your opinion was fact?
A: Because it is.
Q: Do you ever proofread?
Q: What’s with all the graphs?
A: Graphs are fun.
Q: Can I steal your dog?
Q: Will the Leafs ever win the Cup?
Q: Are any of these questions even frequently asked?